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Children are special to God - so special that God gives them their very own families in which they can grow up and be nurtured. Families are the most basic building block of society. God says that he puts the lonely into families (Psalm 68:6). The individual members of the family are the constituent elements of that block. When families break up the basic foundation of our society is weakened.
The Bible says that children are a blessing from God. How often do you look at your children and see them as a blessing? Children are a reward from God (Psalm 127:3). "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them..." The writer of Ecclesiastes sees much futility and meaninglessness in life. However, human relationships will enhance that life - and family relationships should be the closest of them all.
Parents have the power to mould and shape the lives of the children in their care. This is a primary duty unto God and, done properly, it benefits the society. So parents have a lot to answer for and a lot to live up to. From the increasing fragmentation of families in our society and the decreasing standards of behaviour in our nation's children, we realise that if we sow the wind we will reap the whirlwind (Hosea 8:7).
God requires Christian parents to set a godly example for their children. Your children will see you at your best and at your worst - and they will learn to imitate you. It is from their parents that children learn how to cope with trials in life; they will see when you pray and when you don't. You shape their lives by your example. Children are like wet clay, easily moulded and shaped - for good or for bad. This places a great responsibility on parents. Many adults with behavioural disorders and other psycho-social dysfunctions will point back to their childhood as the time when these began. During counseling, relationships with parents, even into adulthood, frequently surface as the underlying issues in their lives. Conversely, many well-adjusted adults had a happy childhood where they felt valued, loved and secure at home. This is not to say that every issue in a child's life is the fault of the parents. Each child is an individual who makes his or her own decisions on how they will respond to all that life throws at them. However, parents can do a lot to raise happy and healthy children regardless of their circumstances or a child's temperament.
The marriage relationship is the most important starting block for the family. Time invested into the marriage is time invested into the family - children will observe and learn from committed parents. For single parents, however, God can and does step in as a substitute for the absent parent.
It is vital that you spend time with your children. Children spend much of their lives away from home - at school, clubs, nursery, etc. However, the home still holds the greatest power of influence. Make time for your children. Bring God into the family. Let the children see that God is a part of your daily life. They will watch and learn from you.
Keep the boundaries consistent. An interesting experiment was conducted in a school. When the perimeter fence around the school playground was removed all the children huddled together in the middle. When the fence was replaced, after some days, the children spread out again to the very boundaries of the playground. This showed that children feel safe when there are consistent boundaries. "No climbing on the table," means no climbing on the table - whether mum is tired, happy or busy.
Exhibit self-control. Children have an amazing ability to wind up their parents. Parents who can stop themselves from "reacting' to inappropriate behaviour and instead "respond' to it patiently will find that their child is calmer.
Be interested in their lives. Value their opinions on decisions that have to be made (e.g. where should you live or which school should they go to). Listen to them talk about their day and ask questions to allow them to share experiences with you.
Over the course of this year we will examine different aspects of parenting. Some of the issues we will look at are schooling, how to encourage spiritual growth in your child and how to face tough family decisions.
Parenting is one of those roles for which there is little or no training. The only experts in parenting are those who do not have children and grandparents! As author Steve Chalke says: "Before I got married I had five theories on raising children and no children, now I have five children and no theories". Hard though it may seem at times, each of us is called to do our best. Remember, children are a reward from God - they are a blessing to your life. A loving stable family will provide a safe environment for children to grow up in - regardless of what else happens in life.
You will never regret the time you invest into your family. Life choices made with your family's interests at heart will serve to enhance the life of the family that God has given to you.
