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Children today are under attack - there are so many influences around them. As parents we have a responsibility to safeguard our children. But with TV pumping out morals that are contrary to Bible standards, computer games and fashions raising questions and concerns for many parents, it can be hard for them to know where to start.
Some choose to isolate their children from everything that may have a hint of worldliness about it, banning all TV unless it is "Christian', only permitting music from "Christian' artists to be played at home and only allowing their children to mix with Christians.
Other parents go to the other extreme, allowing their children to flow with everything that goes on in the lives of their school friends, trusting the secular state to impress Christian values onto their children. The advancement of technology means that, on a daily basis, many children are busy with MSN, developing their own MySpace internet site, networking on bebo.com, demanding a new mobile phone that they can sync with their contacts online and a games console that is handsfree (anybody out there owns a Wii)! Meanwhile their parents are still grappling with how to use the word processor, let alone understanding what their children are up to (even if their kids have told them, they still aren't quite sure what their kids said).
Both extremes can have adverse effects on our children. God has called us to parent them ourselves, not delegate the responsibility to the state. Equally God has called our children to be in the world not of the world. Tempting though it may be to take our children from the world altogether, we will equip them better if we can teach them how to discern between what is right and what is wrong.
We cannot make clear hard and fast rules for us to follow.We have the Bible and the Holy Spirit as our guide and we as parents need to exercise our discernment.
Something that may adversely affect one sibling and pull them into darkness may cause another to stand up and challenge it.We cannot give a blanket ban that these books or these films are bad. The Harry Potterbooks for some may be detrimental, provoking an unhealthy curiosity in the occult. For others they may be the start of a great discussion, giving them an awareness that enables them to witness more effectively to their friends. To be able to help your children you need to know your children, spending the time with them to know their strengths and weaknesses.
It is easy to hone in on one aspect of life to safeguard our children because of our knowledge (or that of a family friend) in an area. But to do this we will be in danger of missing huge areas of our children's discipleship because of a fixation on one aspect of it. For example a child may be prevented from reading anything with a hint of the occult in it (including Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs) but at the same time be allowed to watch soap operas on TV where adultery and fornication are promoted not just as the norm for living, but as the only answer in a dull or difficult relationship.We need to think of everything that our children see and read, as well as who they mix with and where they go, through the eyes of the Bible.
Proverbs 22:6 tells to "train up a child in the way they should go so that when they are old they will not depart from it."Instead of placing a blanket ban on a particular brand of worldly evil, our children will be better equipped if we can talk through the issues with them at a level that is appropriate for their age.
The older they get the more they can be encouraged to think through and make their own decisions. It may be that as they grow into their teenage years they will have the freedom to make their own mistakes, so that they can grow into adulthood knowing the boundaries that exist where true freedom reigns. If all this is done in a context of open discussion then our children go on to reflect with us whether or not they made the right decisions.
In developing your child's discernment of the difference between a good and a bad one, you are discipling your children to make good decisions later in life. This will extend to the friends they hang out with, the clubs they are involved with, the places they go and simply saying NO at a crucial time in their lives.
Prayerful parents can often see dangers coming and pray into them, helping to protect their children from decisions which might in the long term, result in compromise. Through regular prayer for our children God can reveal to us areas that we need to watch and help our children to grow in discernment.
A few quick questions will help you to see if something is building up your child or tearing them down.
An activity that is drawing your child away from the things of God should raise a concern in us as parents. This could either be because of the content of the activity or that a wholesome activity is becoming an idol in our children's lives.
Look for patterns in your child's mood. A child who throws a tantrum after every DVD they watch would probably benefit from less DVDs.
God may have a specific injunction on a particular activity for a particular child. It may not be something that is bad for all children, it may simply be that they would meet and make the wrong kind of friends in that place. Don't forget also that God has equipped us with a brain too that we should use in working out what is best for our children.
By casual observations of the kind of company they keep and their reactions to things that alert your spirit you will learn a lot about your children's ability to discern. By watching how they cope in difficult circumstances we will see how they are growing in the things of God.
Ultimately as parents we have a responsibility to train our children to be discerners of good and evil. This means having a dialogue with them that will enable them to engage with the world, but to be shielded from it. Ultimately we desire that our children will grow into maturity being fully equipped by the Word of God.
Hebrews 5:14 "Solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil."
