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Computers and television have revolutionised childhood in the last century. Children spend around 4 hours a day watching TV or playing computer games. The emerging generation are more interested in computers, with TV increasingly being pushed into second place. The world is changing fast and it can be hard for parents to keep up with new technologies and language. One teenager recently told me that email was old-fashioned, because it was so slow. Instant messaging was the way forward. For some parents who are just beginning to get used to email, keeping up with technology, let alone ensuring your children are using it responsibly presents a real challenge. The easiest option is to turn a blind eye to their technology, but it is neither the safest nor the most responsible. Instead, as parents we should seek to engage with our children, fostering open communication and coming alongside them to ensure they are safe and using technology safely.
Helping our children to be responsible with their computer and television usage presents its own challenges, but the alternative is to leave their usage unchecked, so that the dangers become acute, or to ban them from using these items, which will simply serve to ostracize them from society.
The following tips provide an overview of the kind of things you can do to help your child with their TV and computer habits.
Keep a diary for a week to know how long your child is spending on TV, computer games and the internet. If this usage seems too much, then discuss with your child what alternative activities they would like to do and seek to get them involved.
For children under ten sit with them as they are using the internet so that you know exactly what they are doing, and can help them to stay safe. Keeping the computer in a communal place (not in their bedroom) can help with monitoring.
You can also research age-appropriate internet sites that you can suggest to your children.
The TV programmes our children watch affect their lives. One parent told me that they recently stopped their toddler from watching any TV on weekdays, and instead found other activities for him to do. She noticed that her hyperactive toddler had calmed right down within a week. Studies show us that:
Decide how much TV your children can watch in a week, let them plan ahead what they are going to watch and then when they have watched it turn it off.
Be present when your child is watching TV, especially if they are young, so you can see the actual content of the programmes they are watching.
Children copy you. Model to them a lifestyle that does not revolve around TV. Turn off the TV when no one is watching it and don't put a TV in your children's bedroom where they can view shows unchecked.
Take time to talk about the TV programmes your children watch, discussing their content. Help your child to understand that not everything on TV adds value to life, and some programmes can actually be destructive to their walk with God.
Use technology to help with safe surfing Internet filters and child-friendly search engines all help to keep your child safe. For example, at google.com you can set the filter to strict filtering by clicking on preferences. That way, if your child types in a word like sex all they will find is articles on gender. Filters such as those found at www.christianinternetfiltering.net/ can help to filter content as well as enabling you to retrospectively monitor the sites your child has visited. You can also look at the internet history and temporary files, but assuming your child knows more about computers than you (which is the case in many families) they can easily delete these files.
Work out a family code for using the internet. This may include things such as:
How long they can use the computer and when. The types of site that are permissible (for example you may want any chat rooms they use to be moderated, or you may not want them to use file sharing programmes where pirated material can be easily passed around).
What to do if they feel uncomfortable.
Make it very clear that they must not give out personal information without your permission, in particular, addresses, phone numbers, school details, passwords or pictures. Also take care to limit children's access to credit card and bank information. You may want to cut out safety tips for children and stick it next to the computer to remind them of these things.
The internet and television provide huge opportunities for children to grow and learn and are increasingly becoming a key part of socialization of children. It is therefore vital that parents engage with their children and show them how to use technology responsibly.
