 |
|||||
|
|||||
|
|||||
|
|
|||||
|
|||||
|
|||||
|
I remember that day very well. That day, when I discovered my son had symptoms of autism. I remember crying out, feeling utterly broken and helpless. Moments of self-recriminations came fast and furious. "Maybe you ate something bad." "Maybe you were ill too often and took too much medication." "Your fever during labour must have affected him". It was a horrible time. As a Christian, I couldn't understand why this was happening. I kept asking, "Why Lord, why my son? What did we do to deserve this?"
At the time my husband had an expatriate posting in Jakarta, Indonesia. We had a cosseted life of fancy dinners, a swanky home and high living. We attended a great church and were involved in various ministries. I had just given birth to our second son and we had many good friends. Everything was working out great.
When did it all begin? When did my son start clapping his hands constantly, and stop looking at us in the eye? We couldn't accept that he had any issues, thinking that he was just a late developer. Anyway, he had a phenomenal memory and could recite things from memory. We were full of prideful anger when anyone suggested that our son might be autistic because of his constant spinning actions. After all, how could a Cambridge graduate and a mother with a law degree have a son with developmental issues?
As months passed and with very little developmental progress made, I finally adhered to my mum's suggestion to check the internet about autism. Then the realisation sank in - autism was not just of the 'Rainman' variety, a savant with special abilities, but was a spectrum of disorders. With that realisation came a sudden surge of fear of not knowing what to do. The spectre of uncertainty loomed dark over our son's future.
However, amidst this turmoil, the Lord reminded me to trust him. The verses in
Proverbs 3:5, 6 came to mind,
Like a drowning person, I grasped tightly onto that verse of hope, repeating it to myself, feeling relieved that no matter what he would lead us through the wilderness of uncertainty. That night, my husband and I prayed for direction and revelation. We prayed for peace in our hearts. Again, the verse in Philippians 4:6, 7 came to me:
It was hard to give thanks, but it was a test of our faith. In doing so, a burden was lifted; it was in his hands and we knew we could go on with confidence.
Having accepted our son's condition, we undertook extensive research and made numerous enquiries. Finally, through God's direction, we found an experienced clinical psychologist in Perth, Western Australia, through my aunt in Australia. She diagnosed my son with Autism Spectrum Disorder (DSM IV) which means that my son suffers from impairment in social interaction, delayed language development, and restricted and repetitive patterns of behaviour.
There was a whole gamut of therapies to consider: applied behavioural analysis therapy (ABA), bio-medical intervention, speech and language therapy, occupational therapy etc. The list was just mindboggling, and the cost of the therapies daunting. However, after much prayer and research, we agreed with the psychologist's assessment to undertake ABA extensively and to be trained on it ourselves. It was the beginning of a long, arduous road of discovery and toil.
Whilst in Australia and Indonesia, the psychologist recommended some good tutors. The cost of the therapies was exorbitant, but the fruits of the labour could be seen quite quickly in the little milestones made. Meeting other families who had made breakthroughs was a big encouragement. They all shared one thing in common: high expectations for their children's progress, dogged determination, consistency and unconditional love for their children. We knew there was no cure for autism, but we strongly held on to the belief that nothing is impossible with God.
Coming back to the UK, our son got a statement for special educational needs and some funding for his programme. We were thankful to God for his faithfulness in meeting our need. My husband went on sabbatical leave to do research. Meanwhile, I focused on our son's programme.
It was really tough, financially and emotionally. My husband worried about our finances. I was constantly tired from looking after the family's needs, and working to ensure my son's programme went smoothly. To start with, we had to train various tutors from scratch and find a good consultant. Added to that was the worry over our younger son's development. Would he show signs of autism too? All the worry and exhaustion took a toll. Not unsurprisingly, God was often on a back burner, unwittingly forgotten until the next big crisis. It was clear to me then why so many families broke up because of a child with special needs.
However, God has always shown him faithful. In moments of despair I would cry out to the Holy Spirit, and he was always there to comfort the wounded heart. The burden would be miraculously lifted and I would know he would see us through that difficult period. My worries for my younger son soon proved unfounded and he grew to be precocious and highly intelligent. We found a fantastic consultant and a team of competent, loyal tutors who made a great impact on our elder son's development. And finally, God answered our prayers for some funding for our programmes, which still continues to this day.
When the time was ripe for my husband to return to work, we prayed to God to provide, and again, he answered our prayers. As we have continued to put him first in our lives and tithe faithfully the Lord has opened many doors in finances and blessed our family. He is a debtor of none, and we can never out-give him. Matthew 6:33 states,
Our son has made great strides in his progress. Today, he attends mainstream school with minimal intervention from his tutor. He has also made some friends in school and church. From a boy who couldn't say "Mummy" and hold a pencil in his hand, he has come so far as to act in his school assembly, write compositions, and play the piano in front of an audience. This is nothing short of a miracle. Indeed, it is God's miracle. There's still some work to be done. But with him there's a light in the tunnel and a light at the end of it.
